I'll Always Remember the Road Warrior

Worried about gas/petrol prices spiraling out of control, rising global temperatures, wars in the Middle East, and the general threat of Christianist apocalypse fantasies coming true? Worry no more, as the faux Presidential Radio Address from this week notes that we have a savior:

The prophecy tells us there's only one person to deliver us from the last days: Mad Max. He will drive the last of the V8 Interceptors and crush the evildoers, protecting the dwindling fuel resources of the desert. We must turn to Mad Max in this time of international turmoil, for his wisdom and his counsel, and we trust him to lead us to the promised land in a tanker truck filled with the fuel, the precious fuel.