Crying Over The Onion
My wife (still getting used to that term) mentioned that I hadn't been doing any Cracks posts lately, which is true. I've needed to sit back and do some reading and thinking about a longer piece I want to write, and, frankly, the election both wore me out and bummed me out something fierce. I needed to take a mental break. But it's time to get back to reality--four more years of this guy. And it's even more important now to point out what exactly the emperor and his minions are wearing underneath their colorful armor. So I'll be getting back at it this weekend. But, first, an article at The Onion entitled Nation's Poor Win Election For Nation's Rich, which pretty much nails it on the head--in fact, if someone didn't know that this was a publication of satire, it would sound very much like what the rest of the media is giving us:

According to Rove, the Republicans found strong support in non-urban areas populated by the people who would have benefited most from the lower-income tax cuts and social-service programs championed by Kerry. Regardless of their own interests, these citizens turned out in record numbers to elect conservatives into office at all levels of the government.

"My family's been suffering ever since I lost my job at the screen-door factory, and I haven't seen a doctor for well on four years now," said father of four Buddy Kaldrin of Eerie, CO. "Shit, I don't even remember what a dentist's chair looks like... Basically, I'd give up if it weren't for God's grace. So it's good to know we have a president who cares about religion, too."

[...]

"Our society is falling apart—our treasured values are under attack by terrorists," said Ellen Blaine of Givens, OH, a tiny rural farming community as likely to be attacked by terrorists as it is to be hit by a meteor. "We need someone with old-time morals in the White House. I may not have much of anything in this world, but at least I have my family."

"John Kerry is a flip-flopper," she continued. "I saw it on TV. Who knows what terrible things might've happened to my sons overseas if he'd been put in charge?"