What a Load of CHiPS

Hollywood Death Watch, Part LXXXVII

My first thought at seeing this post over at Dark Horizons was, "They're making CHiPS into a movie?!?!?! What is the world coming to?!?!?!" But then I got a load of the bull that Wilmer Valderrama was putting forth in an attempt to rationalize his status as an ACTOR (emphasis mine):

What we're doing is, we're having fun with it, but we're not making fun of 'CHiPs.' A lot of the remakes that have happened in the last couple of years have failed because they make fun of their franchise. You can't be making fun of something that at some point people cared so much about. For the world, 'CHiPs' is a very serious drama. You can't disrespect that.

Very serious indeed. Here's part of the summary to CHiPS episode #3, "Dog Gone":

Ponch and Jon are chasing a dog that causes an accident. They bring it to Central and hide it in a truck.

Meanwhile, some guys who want to sabotage Ponch's motorbike mistakenly sabotage Jon´s motorbike instead.
[...]
Finally the dog´s owner shows up at CHP Central looking for his dog. Ponch gets him out of a truck and the dog proceeds to relieve itself on Sarge´s motorbike.

As Jeff Goldblum's character Michael put it to Tom Berenger's Sam in The Big Chill:

Michael: I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.
Sam Weber: Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.
Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

[PS] OK, so this is derivative, but with a twist--Romeo and Juliet as told by garden gnomes. And when it comes to gnomes, I just can't help myself (as some of my co-authors and editors over the years have come to know and despise). Though I am a little nervous about the potential Elton John soundtrack--I'm still not fully recovered from "Can You Feel The Love Tonight".

Here are a few of the gnomes that I torture Mrs. F with (the bottom being the official Chelsea team garden gnome that Mrs. F tried to destroy, but has since glued back together):





[PS+] Mrs. F just reminded me that it was I who kicked over the Chelsea gnome (whom I've lovingly and perhaps not so creatively dubbed Gnomie). And she did painstakingly put ol' Gnomie back together, piece by piece. But I think she had it out for the guy and placed it exactly where she knew I'd kick it. That said, I'm eternally grateful for her gluing efforts.

[PS++] After continued discussion with Mrs. F, I am ready to take full responsibility for my actions--it was I who broke Gnomie apart with my leg and no one else. I hope this goes some way to brokering a Cracks Centraal peace accord...